Keeping your temper in check can be challenging. Use simple anger management tips — from taking a timeout to using “I” statements — to stay in control.
10 tips to tame your temper/Anger
Ready to get your anger under control? Start by considering these 10 anger management tips.
- Think before you speak
It’s quick to say something you’ll regret later, in the heat of the moment. Taking a couple of minutes to gather your ideas before you do anything — and let those in the situation do the same.
- Once you’re calm, express your anger
When you are consciously thinking, express your anger in an assertive yet non-confrontational manner. Simply and clearly state your interests and desires, without hurting or attempting to manipulate others.
- Get some exercise
Physical exercise can help to relieve tension and can make you furious. When you sense your frustration escalating, stroll or run briskly, or spend some time enjoying some pleasurable physical activities.
- Take a timeout
Timeouts don’t only refer to girls. Give yourself brief breaks which appear to be stressful during the daytime. A few moments of quiet time can make you feel more prepared to deal with what lies ahead without getting upset or angry.
- Identify possible solutions
Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Does your child’s messy room drive you crazy? Close the door. Is your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals later in the evening — or agree to eat on your own a few times a week. Remind yourself that anger won’t fix anything and might only make it worse.
- Stick with ‘I’ statements
Using “I” sentences to explain the issue and avoid criticism or placing blame — which might only increase tension. Be concise and polite. For Example say, “I’m upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes,” rather than “you never do any housework.”
- Don’t hold a grudge
Forgiveness is a majestic instrument. You may find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice if you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings. But if you can forgive someone who has hurt you, then you could both benefit from the incident and strengthen your relationship.
- Use humor to release tension
Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Use humor to help you face what’s making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go. Avoid sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings and make things worse.
- Practice relaxation skills
When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as “Take it easy.” You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses — whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.
- Know when to seek help
Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Seek help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you.